Biggest Fear

This question gets asked a lot on surveys that get passed around via email and on social networks like myspace: What is your biggest fear? Since this blog is called "Cowgirl Up", I thought I'd tackle that question here myself and then ask it of new readers who may happen upon my new blog.

My #1 biggest fear: I'm a mom so that would be losing a child. This has been my biggest fear since my first child was born. I feel for any parent who outlives their child and I hope that I will never be in that situation myself.

My #2 biggest fear: Not seeing my kids grow up because I pass away young (yes, I'm 36 and I'm calling that young so if there are any 20 year olds reading this, 36 is still young even if you don't think so...you will understand in 16 years, lol). I have four children who I want to see grow up.

These two fears, I can't really "cowgirl up" to them. Other than ensuring all the usual safety precautions are taken (seatbelts, knowing where my kids are and who they are with, helmets, etc.), I don't have any control over this. Maybe my biggest fear should be "no control" then.

Now, if I were to answer that not from a more general standpoint and not a totally life altering standpoint, my current fear I am trying to overcome has to do with horses (hence, the 'cowgirl up' idea, lol). My husband surprised me with a filly almost two years ago. My fear of being permanently physically harmed or fatally harmed is fresh in my mind with four kids to take care of at home. Hmmm...guess that would have to do with my #2 fear. They're all related...tied in to me being a mom.

I love horses and have always wanted a horse. However, they are unpredictable animals no matter how well-trained they are imo. Given their size, that can put you into a dangerous situation real quick (or you can put yourself into a dangerous situation real quick). So, I take lessons and hope one day I can learn enough to where I can enjoy horses without a sometimes overwhelming fear. Some fear is healthy...it keeps me from doing something stupid. Lack of knowledge about horses, however, can have me doing something "stupid" without realizing it. Ridding myself of irrational fear is my goal (good luck to me because I am neurotic).

What is your biggest fear?