Is there a family guide book to consequences?

The big stable sleepover has come and gone without any pre-teen tantrums because she was grounded and couldn't go. I wish she could have gone but with the list of things my daughter had done that she shouldn't have, there was no way I could let her go. It wouldn't teach her a thing. As she struggles her way from teen to adult, I hope she learns respect and responsibility.

I'm sure we'll have to get through some stomping, door slams, and "I hate you" comments thrown my way before she grows to adulthood. I better brush up my skills on how to take the door off the hinges so when the door slams in my face, I can take care of that little problem right away.

Taking away privileges is the only thing that I can think of doing that will work right now. I'm not sure what other parents do and I don't have a family guide book to tell me. I'm sure I'll make plenty of mistakes along the way.